Religion and spirituality are a source of guidance and support. Whether you were raised in these beliefs by your parents/family or you yourself joined the community, it should be a positive influence. It can be a community of like-minded individuals who provide you with a sense of belonging. But what happens when things go wrong? Sometimes religious beliefs can be weaponized. Other times they can become a means of control. This negative energy can cause real trauma, something called religious trauma. Just like any other trauma, there is a way to heal.
If you have experienced religious trauma, here are ways to begin the journey of healing.
Acknowledge What Is Happening
Some religions operate under a high-control environment. You are led to believe that the inside community is where you are protected and safe. The outside world is where the danger lies. Being led away from your higher power is the motivation of the outside world. When you begin to question the motives of those in power, you are threatened with outsider status. It can be overwhelming if this is your first venture in doubt and stepping outside of the organization’s fold.
It is completely normal to have these feelings, especially as you age and grow mentally. Your body and mind evolve every seven years. Questioning practices do not make you a bad person or mean you are not worthy. It just means you are changing.
Separation
You may need to take a long, hard look at your religious or spiritual involvement. While there may be good intentions within the system, it is possible that some misguidance is occurring, resulting in harm to you. What are your personal values? Do they align with your religious beliefs? Are the qualities you identify with rooted in religion or other factors? A written list may help give you a visual cue.
Setting Boundaries
If you are taking steps away from your religious community, you may find that you need to set boundaries with others who remain part of the system. Some will try to bring you back in or guilt you for your newfound choices. You no longer find the religious guidance satisfactory. You don’t need to entertain repetitive conversations about your choices or, on the more severe end, lines of questioning. This can be very frustrating and draining on your mental health. You owe no one an answer for your choices.
Embrace The Loss
Being a member of a religious organization can be powerful and rewarding at times. Just like most relationships, there is probably some positive that came from it before the bad. When you leave, you may feel a sense of loss. It is ok to grieve that loss and feel sadness over your experience. Even if you have no desire to go back to the harmful environment, you are allowed to feel your feelings.
This could be the place of assembly, your church family, or the security of that community. It could also be higher factors like losing a specific purpose, feeling the jolt from severing ties with a belief in a higher being that seemed untouchable, or the fear of the unknown about your existential destiny.
Find Support With Professional Help
Turning to a therapist can seem daunting and carries a stigma at times. Trauma will not just resolve on its own. It often intertwines with other aspects of life, both socially and physically. Reaching out to a mental health professional is a great step in unpacking any symptoms you may carry and helping you heal. Contact us today for a free consultation!
Learn more about our trauma and PTSD therapy in Colorado. Serving Boulder, Longmont, Denver.
